the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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