Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
