My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
