Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
high people should be assigned attendants
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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