My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
