is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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