OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
