let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
