then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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