wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
