no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
