I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How drunk are you?
Completed.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
