why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
