11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
