He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
