dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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