I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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