You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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