and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
