There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
