Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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