these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
