1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
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