I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
