This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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