It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
