i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
