haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
