Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
