I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
