I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
