DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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