DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
