thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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