i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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