I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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