Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
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