i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
