We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
