Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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