i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
