She's JV to your varsity
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
