During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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