So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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