I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
