Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
this is an emotional support booty call
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
