I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
