i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
