Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
