you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
