1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
